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Movie Ideas

The Big Lebowski II: The Dude, Walter, and the ghost of Donny open a detective agency in the back office of a bowling alley. Major characterization includes The Dude trying to afford college for his kid with Maude, Walter coming to terms with his hostile homosexual feelings for Donny's ghost, and Donny's ghost trying to figure out a goal - any goal in life after death - which would finally allow him to get into heaven. The Stranger narrates and Gary the Bartender provides liquid intelligence for all.

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Tango and Cash II: Instead of the two best cops in LA they'd be the two oldest beat cops in LA, having been busted down time after time for all their screwball antics as detectives. They'd write parking tickets, bust Kens and Karens abusing service industry workers, and enforce mask ordinances. One day they'd write a ticket for the wrong car, that of their old nemesis Yves Perret (actually the AI of Perret, who'd survived two shots to the head while stuck inside a blown up building to become an obscenely rich drug dealer - pain killers this time, he'd become the CEO of the biggest pharmaceutical company in the world). Perret transferred his brain into a computer so he could live forever. The character would, of course, be voiced by Jack Palance, his dialogue pieced together from recordings of his various performances over the decades (he'd win an Oscar for this performance, much to Stallone's and Russell's chagrin). Our geriatric heroes would enlist the help of Kiki and the son of Cash and Kiki (divorced, but amicably) named Caki, natch, who dances at a strip club at night while pursuing a JD during the day. They'd also enlist the help of Owen, who'd provide them with the second most powerful computer in the world - which happened to be built into a heavily modified, armored, and beweaponed Tesla Cybertruck - to fight AI Jack Palance. The final showdown would involve Tango and Cash tricking AI Palance into a USB flash drive after defeating him in a game of online chess. When they unplugged the flash drive from the computer and held it up victoriously, Russell would mimic the sound of a 28.8k modem connecting to the internet while Stallone said, "Tweet that." Our heroes would finally retire from the force with full honors, a full pension, and a gold watch to the Caribbean island of Saint Lucia where they'd open a bar called Tango and Cash.

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Dazed and Confused II: Shot-for-shot remake with the same actors playing the same roles in the same settings. All right, All right, All right.

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Dazed and Confused III: Shot-for-shot remake with the same actors playing the same roles in an eldercare facility (filmed simultaneously with Dazed and Confused II). All right, All right, All right.

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Gray Berets: The fallen men & women of the U.S. armed forces patriotically rise up to eat the brains of our terrorist foes.