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Saturday Librarian 9 (Holiday Edition)

Sung to the tune of You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch:

You're a mean one, Saturday
We really feel like heels
Feelin' prickly as a cactus
And as charming as an eel, Saturday.

Like a bad banana
With a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Saturday
Our heart's an empty hole
Our brain is full of cobwebs
We've got garlic in our soul, Saturday!

I wouldn't touch us with
a thirty nine and a half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Saturday
We have termites in our smile
We have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile, Saturday!

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile!

We're foul on a Saturday
We're a nasty-wasty skunk
Our heart is full of unwashed socks
Our soul is full of gunk, on Saturday!
The three words that best describe you
Saturday, and I quote:
"Stink"
"Stank"
"Stunk"