a nearly satisfactory hypermegaultraquantumcompumultiversalnet creation

Star Trek

How many times do you think Scotty had to beam crew members straight to the bathroom stalls because of their gastrointestinal distress? Is this the reason why the Enterprise would have kept someone at the transporter 24 hours a day? Did Captain Kirk ever use being "unexpectedly" transported as an escape after sexy time with an alien? Imagine him on an alien world and just lying there in an alien bed frantically signaling in Morse code with his little communicator thingy over and over again that he was ready to get beamed out - "...---..." - until – finally! - the transporter sound begins, he'd look over at the alien and say, "I told them not to bother me while I was with you, I'm so sorr-" and then he would be gone. Do you think the transporter chief ever played a prank on someone by teleporting them from the potty to the bridge while they were sitting in a stall with their pants down? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad most of the time because it's like today where ~75% of the bathroom users at work are just in the stalls because they need some sanity time while they check their phones and hop on Facebook? Do you think Starfleet let crew use Facebook while out on missions? "What's on your mind, Cadet Peters?" "My best friend just got eaten by an Octothrud but luckily the transport chief just happened to be playing a prank on her when it happened and he transported her to the handicapped stall in the bathroom on E deck before she got too digested. She should be OK in a few days." Or would it be just too darned hard to log in? Facebook: "We see you're logging in from an unusual star system, we have sent a code to your email, enter it here to continue." Only you ticked off the Comms Specialist by beating them in poker so they are being a little bitch about it and blocking your email from penetrating the shield that is currently up because the Enterprise came across a Romulan Bird-of-Prey in the Neutral Zone. And just how many people would join Starfleet just to get selfies that no one else could so they'd get more followers? "Here's me going warp 8." "Here's me in the Borg cube." "Here's me doing the 'get shot by a phaser set to stun' challenge." Would prank vids for Youtube get out of control? Would cadets decompressed fellow cadets' space suits during space walks? "Sorry, Cadet Peters, I know your lungs partially ruptured, but it was just a prank, bro! You should've exhaled, dude!"