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The Gospel According To Matthew*: Chapter 4

1It came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. 2And there was much grumbling from the world. 3Caesar did hear the grumbling and did decide to make the world go to their hometowns.

4Because he could.

5Joseph went to Hertz to pick up the pack animals he had reserved for the trip earlier in the week. 6"This isn't what I ordered!" Joseph yelled. "It says right here on my receipt: two single-humped dromedaries, two horses, and an ass!"

7"I'm sorry, sir. All we have left are single-humped camels."

8Joseph did hang his head. "Fine. Do you at least have any in dark brown with the new non-spit bridles?"

9"I'm sorry, sir. We only have the light tan models with the old style bridles."

10"Okay...okay. Give me four of them."

11"I'm sorry, sir. We only have three left."

12Joseph did think evil thoughts and was glad he was going to have an in with the savior of all humanity. 13He took out his wallet to pay the clerk.

14"Would sir be interested in purchasing the insurance we offer?"

*Not that one.